Letting Go to Grow: Why Perfectionism Holds You Back

We’ve all felt it—the pressure to be flawless. A perfect presentation, a pristine Instagram feed, a polished appearance. 

But what if chasing perfection is actually the very thing holding us back? I’ve certainly lived it. 

For years, I hid behind expectations—including the expectation that to be “enough,” I needed to fit a mold. One I never chose, but absorbed. One that said femininity meant having a full head of hair. And then I lost mine.

If you would’ve told me that I’d feel more powerful and free walking around bald than I ever did with a full head of hair, I would have laughed—nervously. 

When alopecia struck and I shaved my head, it hit me how deeply culture is wired to equate femininity  with a full head of hair. 

I grew up, like many women, internalizing the idea that beauty had rules. That there was a “right” way to show up. That softness, polish, and flawless presentation were part of the job. That power came dressed in control.

But here’s the thing: the effort to look perfect was exhausting. And worse? It was blocking something deeper. The freedom to actually show up as myself.

Eventually, I shaved my head.

Letting go meant stepping into vulnerability—and ironically, into a freedom and confidence I’d never known. 

What I found on the other side wasn’t just acceptance. It was expansion. Confidence. Strength I didn’t know I had—because I had never needed to access it before.

That moment wasn’t about loss. It was an act of acceptance that changed everything. 

Perfectionism isn’t about excellence. It’s about fear. And letting go isn’t failure—it’s growth.

The Real Cost of Perfect

Perfectionism sounds noble. You care. You aim high. You want things done right.

But underneath? 

There’s often fear. The fear of not being good enough. Of being found out. Of falling short of some invisible standard you never agreed to but still feel bound by.

Perfectionism isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s subtle:

• Rewriting a slide deck for the 10th time.

• Holding back in a meeting because your comment isn’t “fully baked.”

• Delaying launching something you care about—because it’s not quite ready.

For most high-achieving women, perfectionism isn’t vanity. It’s protection. Proof you belong in the room. A buffer against judgment.

But here’s the truth:

Perfection doesn’t get us closer to our goals. It keeps us from starting.

The Power of “Good Enough”

I used to think “good enough” was a cop-out. Like settling.

Now I know it’s a strategy. A power move.

“Good enough” gets things out into the world. “Good enough” finishes the draft, sends the email, hits publish.

That project you’ve been dragging your feet on? The one waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect version, the perfect conditions?

Try setting a boundary around it.

Give yourself a deadline. Finish it. Release it. See what happens.

Most likely? The world won’t fall apart. You might actually move forward.

And in that forward motion is where momentum—and confidence—builds.

Vulnerability Isn’t Weakness

I get it. Sharing something that’s not perfect feels risky. It opens the door to judgment, critique, being misunderstood.

But vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the birthplace of connection.

The first time I walked into a room with my bald head uncovered, I felt raw. Like every insecurity was suddenly lit up.

But then—something unexpected. People softened. Women opened up. Clients said, “Thank you for being real.”

It wasn’t the flawless version of me that earned their trust. It was the courageous one. 

We don’t connect through polish. We connect through truth.

That story you’ve been sitting on, the one that feels a little too messy to share, why not sharing it with someone you trust? 

Notice your fear. But also notice their response. Most often, they lean in with kindness, not judgment. Or, it might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

When Was the Last Time You Played?

I’m serious. When was the last time you did something just for the joy of it?

Perfectionism creates pressure. Play dissolves it.

When we allow ourselves to engage in things with no outcome—doodling, dancing, baking something lopsided—we give our nervous system a break. We signal to our brains that safety and creativity can coexist.

And ironically? That’s where our best ideas come from.

So schedule in fifteen minutes of play this week. Something unserious. Something that makes you lose track of time.

Watch how your brain starts to loosen up. Watch how solutions show up sideways, when you’re not pushing.

Let’s Redefine Growth

Growth isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming truer.

It’s about releasing the need to control every variable and trusting that who you are—flawed, unfinished, real—is powerful enough.

It’s about letting go.

When I think back to the moment I shaved my head, I realize now that the moment I let go of trying to look perfect… I finally started to feel powerful. Not because I had conquered something, but because I had stopped hiding.

That’s what letting go really is. It’s not giving up. It’s giving in—to who you actually are, beneath the polish and pressure. It’s making room for your voice, your joy, your imperfect brilliance. The hair didn’t make me strong. Releasing the belief that I needed it to be complete—that’s what made me stronger.

So whatever your version of what “perfect” is—whether it’s how your work looks, how you sound in meetings, or how you look—I invite you to loosen your grip just a little. Let go of one thing this week. Just one.

And watch how that single act of release might be the very thing that opens the door to everything you’ve been waiting for.

You don’t have to be perfect to grow. You just have to be honest. That’s where it starts.

So here’s your invitation:

• Try “good enough” this week.

• Say something real instead of something perfect.

• Let yourself play.

Start small. But start.

And if you want help peeling back the layers of perfectionism and building the kind of clarity and confidence that doesn’t depend on polish—I’d love to talk.

👉 [Book a free coaching call with me here.]

Let’s get you back to the joy of doing the work you’re here to do—without the weight of needing to be perfect first.

Take care.

Sofia